I work with people who struggle to be themselves, have difficulty trusting themselves and want to have better relationships with other people.
If this is you, you might try to achieve this by taking care of everyone else or presenting a version of yourself to the world that you think people would like. You quieten your inner voice and over time it becomes silenced; you no longer know who you are or what you stand for.
Relationships become hard work because you aren’t acting spontaneously or authentically. You feel heavy with anxiety and relationship problems start to develop.
Because you’re working so hard within all your relationships you are probably achieving in areas like work but this comes with a cost. You are going above and beyond for others at the expense of yourself which leaves you feeling exhausted, unfulfilled and stressed.
You feel deeply that something’s not working. You’re feeling this discomfort in yourself and it’s impacting your relationships and the world around you. You feel afraid of saying the wrong thing, you pick your past apart trying to figure out how you could have done it better, or the future feels overwhelming like you can’t trust yourself.
You Want Your Life and Your Relationships To Be Better
The people I see want to have relationships that feel reciprocated. You want to love freely and to be loved for who you are without anxiety.
You also want to heal your relationship with yourself; to trust that you know what’s best for you. You wish to listen closely to your internal voice and honour its message in your life. You want to take care of yourself and have space to really know who you are and what you want.
You want to improve your relationships with the important people in your life. You want to be able to be yourself without worrying or experiencing anxiety for it. You want to express yourself wholeheartedly and form relationships where you feel seen and appreciated for who you are (flaws and all!)
Psychodynamic Therapy Can Help
Therapy can help you to begin healing your relationship with both yourself and with others.
You can start to learn about yourself and explore your internal world. Therapy can help you to know yourself and start to integrate your various (and at times conflicting) experiences. It can help you make decisions that align with who you really are.
Therapy can help you to start to understand your relationships. It is a space where you can consider relationship patterns, how they have developed and how they leave you feeling. You can start to form relationships where you are able to fully show up as your true self and feel genuinely connected with others.
We would meet regularly and discuss whatever felt important for you at that moment in time paying attention to thoughts, emotions, patterns and deeper experiences.
It is like gradually removing the dirt from an archaeological site. Over time you discover more about what lies beneath the surface; you can start to put things together and getting a more in depth understanding of what was previously hidden.