A lot of people find that they lose touch with parts of themselves in relationships. They becomes overly focused on the other person and slowly become less acquainted with what they need, their preferences and the path they want their life to be on. In order to improve your relationships and feel more fulfilled in your life you first need to reconnect with yourself.
Getting To Know Yourself.
Know Your Struggles.
Let yourself really get to know the pain points and struggles in your life. Give them space and approach them with curiosity. They are an opportunity to learn something about yourself and process something so that it becomes less painful.
Know Your Past.
All of your past experiences have accrued and interacted to contribute to who you are today. You may repeat the past, compensate for your past or try to deny your past. Knowing and exploring your story of your life and how it has contributed to your present can deepen your self-awareness. You can begin to untangle how your past is impacting your present.
Know Your Passions.
What stirs the depths of your soul? What experiences leave you feeling deeply connected to yourself and your world (both internal and external worlds)? You exist to do more than simply take care of others. Reconnecting with yourself can open up space for your passions to ignite.
Feel Your Feelings.
Let yourself be affected by your experience of the world. Give yourself space to feel angry, to grieve and to fill with joy. If you have been living a life where you have resisted your feelings then you have disavowed a huge part of yourself and your experience.
Notice What Feels Real.
When you are deeply connected to your experiences, your personal narrative and your struggles you are more able to act in a way honours your personal reality. Real doesn’t mean objective reality. “Real” is something that aligns with your inner truth and adds value and substance to your life.
Establishing boundaries with other people gives you space to connect with what is important to you. When you are aligning with other people’s needs it takes your attention away from what is important to you and what you need. You lose touch with yourself because you aren’t used to listening to your inner voice.
Express Your Authentic Self.
Managing The Pain Points.
As you get to know yourself more and more the way that you deal with challenges will change. You will have more insight into what sort of experiences you find particularly difficult (for example conflict) and what emotions, memories and beliefs these challenging events bring up for you. This enhanced self-awareness will help you manage these pain points in a way that feels authentic.
Knowing What You Want.
It is hard to get what you want in life when don’t even know what it is that you desire. When you don’t take the time to connect with yourself, moments may pass without you even realising you have done something you didn’t want to or not spoken up about something you believe is important. Knowing what you want and stand for is an important step towards expressing your authentic self.
Therapy can help you to deepen your self-awareness and develop a kind and curious relationship with yourself. Call me today if you want to discuss your challenges or to begin treatment.